Saucy Stains

Nice Erik. See you're busy at work these days. I like the idea, but why does this little cute apple have a cigarette and a pirate-esque single tooth? Are you playing with the general public's largely-misguided and easily-influenced realtionship with aesthetics? If so, I like it. Where's Herr Banan?

Someone please tell me why, oh why does the woman wh works in the office here use amonia to clean the bathroom every Friday? She knows I'll be out on the sauce of a Thursday, so the last thing I need is that shit burning it way down my throat and lungs. Maybe she does it on purpose as soon as she sees my dishevelled attire and unkempt appearance slide around the door an hour late. It's a punishment thing. She's doing it for my own benfit. It gets the stains off the floor a treat, though. Also why do I insist on playing jazz when I have a hangover (not that I do, today, by the way)? It almost makes me puke. It's like sitting in a car at the dodgems holding a glass of red wine. Aurally, you understand.