Personally, I prefer Arnie to Sly

He's looking better than ever. yummie yummie.

Xylophone Fun For All The Family

You are a Fucking C*nt

God Bless America

In the midst of what nutritional experts see as an epidemic of obesity among North Americans, Burger King has decided to launch their biggest sandwich so far, the Elvis-esque Enormous Omelet Sandwich, which carries 730 calories and 47 grams of fat and comes with two eggs, sausage, three strips of bacon and two slices of melted American cheese on a bun. It's heftier than a Whopper hamburger, which weighs in at 700 calories and 42 grams of fat. This little timebomb also retails at the handsome price of $2.99, ideal for (lower income and poorly educated) families across the country.
Good thinking Burger King! With the real economic threat of the Euro over the Dollar and the emerging Chinese market looming, soon Americans will be too fat to care. Maybe its for the best..they can eat themselves into oblivion and leave the rest of the world alone.

The World According to Sly

New magazine out by and all about Sly Stallone. Looks terrible. Hopefully he won't be the one who writes the articles because the dude can barely speak nevermind write good copy. Then again, he allegedly wrote the main part of the first Rocky script and that's a pretty good film. Perhaps he wrote it on the back of a stamp and then they got some Hollywood guy to finish it off for him. The funny thing is about Sylvester Stallone is that he comes across as punch-drunk but he wasn't even a real boxer. Is this another case of life imitating art?

Eat this.

Review from the new THE WIRE.


And my freaking fridge.

The Smelliest Smell. Ever. So far.

Yah! Long weekend is behind us. Feels like I was all over Skåne and that Skåne was all over my face. Weather has been absolutely beautiful, guess that was my saviour. Going from one relative to the next, picking stuff up here and leaving it there. Eating so much of this and even more of that. Back home last night we unpacked our shit, literally. Within one hour I smelled the two worst smells i have ever felt in my entire life. First one was a tea pot gone bad, not just regular tea, but special breastfeeding tea, it is made of hay or something. I almost emtpied my easter belly on the floor while doing the dishes. Second smell will go to my private book of worst smells of a lifetime, xxx xxxxxx. xxxxx xxxx xxxx xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxx x xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxx. xxxxx xxxx xxxx xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxx x xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxx. xxxxx xxxx xxxx xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxx x xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxx. xxxxx xxxx xxxx xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxx x xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxx. xxxxx xxxx xxxx xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxx x xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxx. xxxxx xxxx xxxx xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxx x xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxxxxx.

Take my words as an advice for future smelly experiences, beware of Pee.

Yes, I am disgusting. Not proud, but honest.

*reading through my story of smells made me realise that it wasn´t very pleasant reading. quite disgusting stuff. I had to take it away.

The Fastest Finger

I got sent this image in an e-mail from a possible new signing on Fork Series. This lovely lady's name is Belinda Bedekovic, from Zagreb in Croatia. She has been acclaimed as “the fastest finger” in the world on the remote keyboard in the field of pop music. At the end of her rather long introduction letter she adds, "Although I do not like to indulge in self-praise, I would like to let you know that my public appearances are regularly accompanied by enthusiastic applause, sometimes even leading to euphoria."
What does everyone think? Should I go for it? I could do with some euphoria in my life.

Happy

Happy Easter. All of you. Yes.

MF Happy Easter

I will eat myself to death. See you in hell.

Hugs & Abrazos,

Tomas

Hi friends, Let me tell you a thing or two....

I think it is about time, time to update you about my life up north. My life with Blenda and the new 2005 family lifestyle.

Heading for eastern with almost lightspeed. After eastern it is spring and after spring comes summer. Time to get in shape for beach and all that. Might be too late I am afraid. The shape of rock to come is quite disgusting and most probably not will it attract many females. Lucky me I got the two best already, my wife and my daughter. Yes. Just taking those words in my mouth makes me a proud family father. My wife and my daughter.
Blenda is absolutely stunning. All that babystuff that you hear all parents nag about for hours is now my life 24/7. The hardest thing is to leave for work each morning, saying goodbye to the family when they are slowly waking up. Blenda always wakes up with huge smile and silent laughter. I melt like an icecream at Barceloneta in August every morning. Next week she´ll be five months old. Incredible. From being a helpless little creature that couldn´t do anything but scream for food to being this little human being, absolutely charming and clever as a rat, in no time. Time flies and all that, but she is growing by the minute. Incredible and quite scary.
Today I am going to the babyswim, first class, second course. It´s hard work, but pure fun. Blenda is like a frog. Still not like a fish, but close enough. We been taking a lot of photos with the underwater camera, will post them when we got them developed.

From the beginning of May I´ll start working part time here at the newspaper and from the beginning of August I will be home with Blenda full time. Can´t wait to get there. But before that I´ll take a few weeks of vacation and pop down to Barcelona. Just in time to get a few litres of those Café con leche con hielo.

Time for babyswim! When I say "Dyk", we dive.

News

We have a new flat mate at Sant Pere, she moved in last Saturday. She is German. She seems nice.

We also had a Christian staying for a few days. If all goes well, he has managed to rent a car by now and is heading south. Hopefully towards the sun as the Lord has vuelto a kick us all in the teeth with Horrible Weather. Usch!


End of news.

I got jelly for brains.

13 things that does not make sense

Will I beat the Irish in wishing a happy st patrick's day?

And will they all survive this evening? Where is the rendezvouz esta noche?

And is Christian crying outside my door as we speak? Or at least as I write?

my post-it home

Monday evening was a different evening at sant pere. The stank was all over as the pipes from the shower and the kitchen were full of... human leftovers. Years of contribution and hard work culminated as the kitchen floor was flooded. Yesterday I fled to jimbo for hygiene reasons and today the house is full of post-it notes. No usar rules. Who needs showers anyway?

Christian, are you coming tomorrow? Did you tell me when?

And what happened to spring? I'm seriously tired of this weather. Usch.

My post-it home

Monday evening was a different evening at sant pere. The stank was all over as the pipes from the shower and the kitchen were full of... human leftovers. Years of contribution and hard work culminated as the kitchen floor was flooded.

Yesterday I fled to jimbo for hygiene reasons and today the house is full of post-it notes. No usar rules. Who needs showers anyway?

Christian, are you coming tomorrow? Did you tell me when?

And what happened to spring? I'm seriously tired of this weather. Usch.

Have you heard Anthony and the johnson's duet with Boy George, you are my sister? how can that be?

Beard of Misfortune

Fun. Den utan socker.

Beard, Träningsoverall & Lover

Total eclipse of my horse

Grosse

Excellent Gros interview. Love that photo.

Happy Saint Patrick´s Day

A day early with my post, but seen as Thurles, Stockholm and other exotic locations celebrated last weekend I´m sure its ok. Drink loads of Guinness tomorrow and be a good paddy!!
Fotos from DN.

Slacker @ Work

Truth is hard to keep down.

the blog has been hacked

or why can't I comment? anyone up for cañitas on Saturday? Haven't seen mr james for a long time and can hardly remember Eriks rastros. Or mrs Erik's, la señora.

It's 15.00. This is when I go home. I löve it.

Talking about my girl.

Enjoy the weekend!

Dawn & Yawn

Friends, Lovers & Warriors! The week has come to an end. Rain mixed with snow is filling my blurry vision. I dream about electric sheep and a spring filled with shortskirted girls and big icecreams in the park. Meanwhile, hook your podcasts up for this: http://www.a-double-a.com/mp3/aa01.xml

If you don´t got a podcast client, listen to the old cat cough straight up old school mp3:
http://www.a-double-a.com/pdcst/nsrd-pdcst-01.mp3

Or listen to the weekly show of Eldorado. Good start for the weekend.

What is the plan for this weekend? Get drunk / laid / shorty? Sex is power they say. I like tex mex.

Text Adventure

1. You walk down the street scanning for a kid to pickpocket from.
2. You see a smart kid with big glasses and everything!
3. You follow him around for a bit until you get close to stick your hand in his pocket.
4. The kid shouts 'THIEF' while pointing at you. You push him over quickly, he falls to the ground.
Result: You watch as a passerby steps on the kids glasses, you walk off after laughing at him for a few minutes. No cash, but it was worth it.

Usch!

Letters To The Editor: “W”Ketchup To The Rescue

"Dear Editor, I enjoyed reading your article on the “W”Ketchup that is being hawked by the Republican Party as an alternative to Heinz ketchup. I first came across "W" ketchup in November of 2000 when my family took a vote on whether we should get some. The majority ofus voted against it and so you can imagine my surprise when,the following January,it appeared in our kitchen cabinet. "W" pretty much just sat in the cabinet doing nothing for the next nine months – we referred to it as being on permanent vacation – until a curious event happened that still has me stymied. That September, when I opened the kitchen cabinet door,a hornet flew out and without any warning - stung me; in fact it stung me twice. My mate,seeing me writhing in agony and looking for a weapon,picked up the bottle of"W" ketchup. I thought she was going to use the bottle to squash the marauding hornet but instead used it to squish one of those thousand-legged creepy-crawly things that were scurrying across the counter. In amazement I asked her why she killed the legger thing instead of the hornet to which she countered that the creepy-crawly thing was known to have poisonous barbs and thus posed a greater threat. In the confusion,the damned hornet got away and I went outside to make some mud for my wounds.I preserved that purported-to-be-poisonous bug but to this day have not found any signs ofany poisonous barbs. After that incident, we pretty much put the bottle of "W" ketchup back on the shelfand have never really had much use for it. However, we have decided that we will throw it out this November." -Mark E. Tatro

The whole Warwick Valley D!spatch newspaper (from the New York area) in PDF

The World's 10 Worst Dictators

By David Wallechinsky
Published: February 13, 2005

The past year was a good one for dictators—unfortunately. None of the most serious offenders lost his job. Competition for the Top 10 Worst of the Worst was so heated that two dictators who made last year’s list were nudged off—Fidel Castro of Cuba and King Mswati III of Swaziland—even though their actions were as harsh as the year before. (See “Dishonorable Mentions” below.)

The following list has been prepared after consultation with Human Rights Watch, Freedom House, Amnesty International and Reporters Without Borders—human-rights groups that have not hesitated to expose the policies of dictatorships on both the left and the right.


1. Omar al-Bashir, Sudan.Age 61.
In power since 1989.
Last year’s rank: 7

A colossal humanitarian tragedy in western Sudan’s Darfur region has uprooted 2 million people and killed 70,000, mostly through the activities of government-supported militias. This is nothing new in Sudan, where Omar al-Bashir, its dictator, has engaged in ethnic and religious persecution since seizing power in a military coup. Sudan has 6 million internally displaced persons—more than any other nation. In southern Sudan, where Christianity and traditional religions are practiced, Bashir tried to impose Islamic law in a campaign that included aerial bombing of villages and enslavement of women and children. His forces met with armed resistance, escalating to what some called a civil war between Muslims and Christians. (In Darfur, meanwhile, he has been killing Muslims.) Last month, Bashir signed a cease-fire with rebels in the south. It allows government troops to remain in southern Sudan and prohibits southerners from voting for independence for six years.

2. Kim Jong Il, North Korea.
Age 62.
In power since 1994.
Last year’s rank: 1

Kim Jong Il slipped from first place, but not for want of trying. North Korea still ranks last in Reporters Without Borders’ international index of press freedom, and it earned Freedom House’s worst score for political rights and civil liberties for the 33rd straight year (a world record). The Ministry of People’s Security places spies in workplaces and neighborhoods to inform on anyone who criticizes the regime, even at home. All radios and TV sets are fixed to receive only government stations. Disloyalty to Kim Jong Il and his late father, Kim Il Sung, is a punishable crime: Offenses include allowing pictures of either leader to gather dust or be torn or folded. The population is divided into “loyalty groups.” One-third belong to the “hostile class.” These people receive the worst jobs and housing and may not live in the capital, Pyongyang. Below the hostiles are the estimated 250,000 held in prison camps, some for crimes allegedly committed by relatives. Executions often are performed in public.

3. Than Shwe, Burma.
Age 72. In power since 1992.
Last year’s rank: 2

In response to world opinion, Gen. Than Shwe freed 9000 prisoners, but hopes for a new liberalism faded when only 40 were political detainees (among more than 1000 still being held). The rest were common criminals. Than Shwe extended the house arrest of Nobel Peace Prize-winner Aung San Suu Kyi, whose party won 80% of the vote in the last open election (1990). The arrest of opposition members resumed. Freedom of expression is not allowed; unlicensed possession of a fax machine or modem is punishable by 15 years in prison. To relocate ethnic minorities, the army destroyed 3000 villages and drove 1.2 million Burmese from their homes. In a landmark case, Unocal Corp. of California agreed to pay damages to Burmese villagers who said the military used torture, rape or murder to force them to work on the company’s pipeline.


4. Hu Jintao, China.
Age 62.
In power since 2002.
Last year’s rank: 3

Despite China’s economic liberalization, President Hu Jintao’s government remains one of the most repressive. Some 250,000 Chinese are serving sentences in “re-education and labor camps.” China executes more people than all other nations combined, often for nonviolent crimes. The death penalty can be given for burglary, embezzlement, counterfeiting, bribery or killing a panda. Hu’s government controls all media and Internet use. Defense lawyers who argue too vigorously for clients’ rights may be disbarred or imprisoned. And if minorities (such as Tibetans) speak out for autonomy, they’re labeled “terrorists,” imprisoned and tortured.

5. Crown Prince Abdullah, Saudi Arabia.
Age 81.
In power since 1995.
Last year’s rank: 5

Bending under strong international pressure, Crown Prince Abdullah and his family, who have absolute power, are holding Saudi Arabia’s first elections in 40 years—municipal elections, that is. Women may not vote or run for office, owing to “technical difficulties”: Most Saudi women don’t have the photo IDs needed to register; there aren’t enough female officials to register those who do; and men may not register women, because the sexes are forbidden to mingle in public. Worldwide, the royal family promotes an extreme form of Islam called Wahhabism, which considers all followers of other religions—even other Muslims—“infidels.” In 2004, the U.S. State Department added Saudi Arabia to its list of nations in which religious liberty is severely violated.


6. Muammar al-Qaddafi, Libya.
Age 62.
In power since 1969.
Last year’s rank:Dishonorable mention

Increasingly annoyed by other Arab leaders, Qaddafi—once considered a supporter of terrorism —has gone to great lengths to re-establish links with the West. He turned over a perpetrator of the 1988 terrorist bombing of an American commercial flight over Lockerbie, Scotland, and made substantial payments to families of the victims of both the Lockerbie bombing and that of a French plane. He gave up his nuclear weapons program and is opening his nation’s economy to foreign investment. Yet at home he continues to run a brutal dictatorship, maintaining total control over all aspects of Libyan life. Freedom of speech, assembly and religion are harshly restricted. Entire families, tribes and even towns can be punished for “collective guilt.” Political opposition and damaging public or private property are considered “crimes against the state.”


7. Pervez Musharraf, Pakistan.
Age 61.
In power since 1999.
Last year’s rank: Not mentioned
Two years after seizing power in a military coup that overthrew an elected government, Gen. Pervez Musharraf appointed himself president of Pakistan. He recently agreed to step down as head of the military, then reversed his decision, claiming that he was best suited to unite Pakistan’s contentious political and military elements. “The country is more important than democracy,” he said. Pakistan has endangered the world by spreading nuclear technology. Last year, it was discovered that Abdul Qadeer Khan, head of Pakistan’s nuclear weapons program, had been selling nuclear technology to North Korea, Libya and Iran. As for civil liberties in Pakistan, a woman who has been raped may present her case only if she can produce four Muslim men who witnessed the attack.


8. Saparmurat Niyazov, Turkmenistan.
Age 64.
In power since 1990.
Last year’s rank: 8
Niyazov has developed an overbearing personality cult that crushes dissent and invades all aspects of life in Turkmenistan, no matter how trivial. He controls his one-party state with torture, disappearances, detentions, house demolitions, forced labor and exile. He muzzles all media, and it is illegal to criticize any of his policies. Statues of Niyazov appear everywhere, and his picture is on all denominations of money. His “moral guide,” Rukhnama (Book of the Soul), is required reading for students, married couples and even applicants for a driver’s license. Female newscasters may not wear makeup, nor may young men wear beards, long hair or gold teeth.


9. Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe.
Age 80.
In power since 1980.
Last year’s rank: 4
After leading an anti-colonial war of liberation, Mugabe was elected Zimbabwe’s first prime minister, raising hopes for a new era of democracy. But he has turned increasingly dictatorial and run his country into the ground. Average life expectancy in Zimbabwe is 33 years—among the lowest in the world. One of Mugabe’s many repressive laws deems it a crime “to make an abusive, indecent or obscene statement” about him. He continues to hold elections, but opposition is discouraged. Looking toward a vote in March, the parliament passed a law banning from Zimbabwe any human-rights or civil-liberties group that receives money from abroad. In other words, independent election monitors will not be allowed.


10. Teodoro Obiang Nguema,Equatorial Guinea.
Age 62.
In power since 1979.
Last year’s rank: 6
Since major oil reserves were discovered there in 1995, U.S. oil companies have poured $5 billion into this tiny West African nation. Most of the oil income goes to President Obiang and his family, while the majority of the people live on less than $1 a day. Some American oil companies are being investigated for improprieties involving Obiang. The U.S. State Department has accused Obiang’s government of committing torture. In November, 20 people—including 11 foreign nationals —were sentenced to prison for an alleged coup attempt. The only evidence against them, says Amnesty International, were confessions extracted through torture.

The Brussels report

We went to Brussels. We drank beer. We drank white russians. We went to old metro station. We drank white russians. We went back to Barcelona.

I like holidays. A lot.

Dagens löpsedel på Aftonbladet

Carolina svimmade under lesbiskt hångel!!!

Världen är full av olika slags händelser. En del stora, en del små. Det tragiska är att en löpsedel som denna säljer flest lösnummer i Sverige. Jag skrattar mest. Uahahahahhahah....uahahahahahahha.... uahahahahhahaha....

Still Breathing

Same old office / internet air.

How was Brussels? Sex, Drugs & Trenchcoats?

CPR

Tomas is without intörnet. Is this the end of elslacker?

Holiday in ice

Brussels weather forecast.

Me not happy with cold. 6 hours left of work and then holidayssss! Do they have saunas in Belgium?

que lentooo

Commenting didn't seem to like me so here goes a new GRANADA blog.

We were talking to the BcnSwedes about maybe going by train and then renting a car there, cause it would probably be cheaper. But this was before Linus remembered that he could hardly pay rent and we all realized that we pretty much broke.

Sugardaddychrillo might bring us there in the good old korva-merca?
Now that would be a treat!

Cold ass f**k!

And I love it. We got the coldest winter in 30 years. Up north they had minus 40 degrees celcius. We got snow chaos. On the radio they are telling people to stay at home. I bike to work through meters of snows and car accidents.

Soon holidayitos

Just three more little days and then we are off on holidays to Brussels.
Me like it. Will meet up with Swedes, French and Ann.

Yesterday 180 planes couldn't leave Barcelona airport. There was no defrost spray left to get rid of the ice on the wings. How tragic.

And 20 minutos are campaigning to keep the Windsor, as a monument or something. That's even worse.

But worse of ALL is that on Thursday it is going to be even colder in Barcelona. Thanks to Jesus I will be on a plane to sunny Belgium. Check out the recommendations:

• Antes de la llegada de las nevadas almacene alimentos y combustibles.
• Tenga preparado un botiquín de primeros auxilios, linternas, radio a pilas, pilas y velas.
  Disponga de calzado y ropa adecuada y compruebe el estado de su vivienda, especialmente techados y sistemas de calefacción.
• Asimismo, después de las nevadas, con carácter general se recomienda utilizar el teléfono sólo en caso de llamadas de urgencia; no propagar rumores o informaciones exageradas sobre la situación; desconectar todos los aparatos eléctricos que no sean necesario y mantener abierta las llaves de paso para evitar la congelación de las tuberías.
• Evite que personas mayores y niños salgan a la calle.
• No viajar en coche salvo si es imprescindible y a ser posible, usar el transporte público. Si finalmente se viaja en vehículo propio, hay que revisar los neumáticos, el líquido anticongelante y los frenos además de llenar el depósito de gasolina, disponer de cadenas y ropa de abrigo.